Our Family Vacation – Part 1: Up, Up (wait, wait, wait) and Away

For many neurotypical people, going to the airport brings a lot of anxiety.

Imagine how that would feel for a child who strives on routine and has general anxiety about anything new in their life.

Boarding a plane can be a daunting experience for those with autism, as the new surroundings and sensory inputs can be overwhelming.

I think for a lot of families with neurodivergent individuals the entire process is daunting – will we make it through security? will my child get on the plane? what happens if my child won’t stay in their seat? what if my child needs to use the toilet and won’t use the washroom on the plane? what if my child has a meltdown?

What if, what if, what if, ….

These are all real fears for parents of autistic children.

I feel one of the best ways to prepare your child is to be prepared yourself. And what better way to be prepared than with a list!

I love a good list for just about everything.

And I like to make multiple lists – things I need to do before we go (like apply for passports, DAS and IBCCES), things to pack for the flight (headphones, snacks, communication iPad, fun iPad X2, chargers, extra change of clothes), things to pack for when we get there, things I want to buy when I am there and not quite a list but a “Trip Note” that includes details related to our trip (booking numbers for flight, van rental, places of interest and any tips that I might forget).

Before travelling I always like to do some research into where we are going and if they offer any special programs for autistic individuals to make our participation a little easier. 

Years ago, I applied for the Sunflower Program for Tyson through Toronto Pearson Airport. This program is an internationally recognized airport program that signifies to staff, by wearing a sunflower lanyard, that the person has an invisible disability and may require some extra help or additional time while travelling. (If you did not apply for a lanyard before travel you can check the information desk at participating airports, for example at Toronto Pearson Airport you can pick one up at the information desk at Terminal 1 and 3 or at the Lost & Found in Terminal 1.)

In Orlando Airport, they have signs indicating the Sunflower Program when approaching the pre-boarding screening, positioning you to a separate lineup.

The Sunflower program reduces your time waiting in lineups for security and customs and allows your entire party to preboard before everyone else can board the plane. For kiddos who have a difficult time in a lineup, this can be a lifesaver.

I am going to be completely honest with you now, but when travelling I make it a point to seek out any special privileges Tyson could receive. 

This does not come from a place of me wanting to skip the line.

It comes from a place of needing to get through the airport security as quickly as possible with an underlying fear that Tyson may get impatient and escape my reach.   

I know this may sound a little crazy, but with the way the world is now, I often worry about child predators and sex trafficker’s looking for their next victim and let’s be honest, a distracted mom with a special needs child would be the perfect victim.

(Sorry, I had to go a bit dark there, but I feel we always need to be aware of our surroundings and what the potential dangers may be.)

Unfortunately, St. John’s International Airport in Newfoundland does not recognize this program (yet).

They have however partnered with the Autism Society of Newfoundland and Labrador to offer a tour of the airport for autistic individuals and their families. To avail of this service, you can email marketing@stjohnsairport.com or call (709) 758-8756. 

In preparing Tyson for any new event, I always write a social story. (I had planned to upload the social story I prepared for Tyson but he has deleted it from his iPad.)

A social story is a simple story that provides information on a topic (in this case our trip) with details about what to expect. The hope is that it will help alleviate some of the stress associated with the new event. (Sidenote: St. John’s International Airport also has a social story you can download; it is fantastic with lots of detail and pictures.)

We chose a direct flight from St. John’s to Orlando and reluctantly chose 1 stop over for our flight back so I included those details in our social story.

Although a direct flight meant more air time, it reduced our overall travel time (or so I thought: spoiler alert) and I felt that would work best for Tyson.

When it comes to what stresses me out most about flying with Tyson it has always been getting through security more so than the flight itself. 

When Tyson was little, I had flown several times with him and he was a good flyer. Now that he wasn’t contained in a stroller, I was a bit worried about physically keeping him in line when going through security. 

For the most part, Tyson has little patience and people are often not kind when they see an eleven-year-old “acting out”.

Our first lineup was at the airline check-in. Although we had checked in online the day before (which I highly recommend), I had not received a boarding pass for Mark and was told he needed to see the gate attendant for some unknown reason.

Well, that reason was soon to be known as he was randomly selected for additional screening. 

Fun!

And any children associated with Mark under the age of thirteen were also selected for additional screening.

Double Fun!

I proceeded to ask if St. John’s International Airport participated in the sunflower program, but they did not.

I was told that Tyson would need to remove his shoes, walk through the metal detector and have his bags undergo additional screening.

No exceptions for autism here!

Although it was not an extensive additional requirement, it did result in Tyson having a complete meltdown and lying on the floor crying and screaming!

I could see out of the corner of my eye my loving husband giving me the “I told you this was a bad idea” look. (Backstory: I had convinced Mark to go on this trip two weeks before departing and basically had wore him down until he agreed.)

I could hear Lincoln grumble about how he hated to go anywhere with this family.

And I could feel the eyes of everyone behind me burning a hole in the back of my head. 

What a great start to a family vacation!

I wanted to get in an argument with airport staff and scream at the other adults in the lineup but I knew none of that would help our situation. 

I knew what Tyson needed was calm (or at least the perception of calm). 

I bent down and asked Tyson if he needed a hug and then calmly told him he would get his Crocs back in just a minute. And that we just needed to get through this part to get to Florida and have lots of fun.

It seemed to work, eventually.

Despite being furious with the lack of empathy and consideration for how stressful this was for Tyson (and what a huge deal it was that we made it this far), causing a bigger scene was not what he needed at that moment. 

Once we were through security and there was distance between us and the lineup of people, Tyson was fine.

When it was time to board, Tyson couldn’t hold his excitement and didn’t even want to wait for the rest of us to get our boarding passes scanned. Once seated on the plane, he said “Ready set go”, followed by “takeoff”. It was super sweet.

At about two and a half hours into the flight, I started to have my own doubts about this family vacation. When Tyson asked me how much time was remaining (for the flight) I said 3 hours, then when he asked again a few minutes later I mistakenly told him 3 hours. 

Wrong response!

Once I realized that Tyson was accustomed to minute countdowns and not hour countdowns, I quickly showed him the flight path using the airline app and he was quite content when it said 2 hours and 57 minutes instead of the lame answer I gave him which was 3 hours.

Despite having ear pain and finding the noise on the plane much too loud, the rest of the flight was uneventful until a few minutes before landing.

At 600 ft above the airport, we unfortunately felt the plane start to ascend.

Yes, you read that correctly – Ascend!

Eventually, we were informed that due to thunderstorms we could not land at Orlando and would be landing at Fort Myers instead. 

After a short detour to Fort Myers, we then proceeded to sit on the tarmac for two and a half hours, unsure of when or if we would be landing at Orlando. This was not part of my social story!!!!

If someone had told me this would have been our faith on our flight down, I probably would have backed out of the trip altogether.

Can you imagine being stuck on a plane with a bunch of unhappy adults and children (including some that were crying) and an autistic child who normally can not wait 2 minutes?

Miraculously Tyson took it all in stride. 

I told him the plane needed to refuel and to him, that was a perfectly good explanation.

When he got a little restless a kind lady sitting ahead of us offered him her neck fan (note to self – add to the list for next trip). Sometimes it is the simplest acts of kindness that can be so appreciated. 

I should add that one of the flight attendants (Rose) on the Westjet flight was also very kind to Tyson and told me if he needed a break from sitting in his seat, he could get up and walk the aisles when the seatbelt sign was off. 

After what seemed like an entire day of flying, we finally landed in Orlando 4 hours later than anticipated. 

For those who travel and rent a vehicle, just note that some rental companies offer what’s called “FastBreak” which allows you to skip the counter and get your vehicle quicker. 

I wish I could report our flight home was less eventful than our flight down but when you get a text at 6 am indicating your flight is delayed by 8 hours and your 1 day of travel is turning into a stayover in Toronto for the night you know your travel day is not off to a good start.

Also – not part of the social story!

Unfortunately, we still needed to be out of our AirB&B by 10 am.

Despite trying to fill the day the best we could (Wild Florida Drive-thru Safari Park, McDonald’s, Target and Costco) by the time we arrived at the airport Tyson had a lot of energy to burn.

Within minutes of arriving at Orlando airport, I knew I needed to attach this kid to me. Luckily, I had borrowed a tether from a friend and despite a few strange looks from fellow travellers (now if I’m being honest what they saw was a very fast Tyson running through the airport, with a not-so-fast mom dragging behind him and a blue cord keeping us together), it did the job. Lincoln was mortified for both himself and Tyson! Sorry kid, safety first.

We got through airport security pretty quickly (despite a slightly major passport mishap) and managed to get Tyson some fries and off we were to Toronto.

We landed sometime after midnight, and we were given a hotel voucher and were told our luggage would go onto St. John’s (which was unfortunate as I did not pack any essentials in our carry-on besides snacks and a change of clothing).

After about 4.5 hours of sleep and with tired and cranky kids, we arrived at the airport to go through the entire process again.

Customs in Toronto was super simple, requiring us to scan our passports and complete a form electronically before entering the Passport Officer lineup. Tyson was unable to stand still for the picture so a blur of his gorgeous little face was considered sufficient. 

Upon taking my seat on the flight home, I realized that all our luggage was sitting on the carousel at Pearson Airport (insert many curse words) as our luggage was tagged mistakenly for Toronto instead of St. John’s. 

Got to love travel!

At 1:30 pm on Thursday, we finally arrived in St. John’s safe and sound. Not ideal seeing we had left our AirB&B over 27.5 hours ago but we all survived it.  

Eventually, our luggage did make it to us, despite one piece being damaged but the contents were there, which at that point was all that mattered.

If you made it to the end, thank you! Stay tuned – coming up next is all about the parks!

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Tip Summary

• Apply for a sunflower lanyard
• Schedule a tour of the airport if available in your area
• Write a social story about your trip
• Pack snacks and electronics for the plane ride 
• Pack a change of clothes in your carryon (the tiniest spill of water on Tyson’s clothes means it’s coming off)
• Check-in online to reduce airport wait time
• Be upfront with airport staff about your child’s ability to wait and ask for accommodations 
• Request a preboard

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